You’re keeping them home, cutting them off from the Internet, and prosecuting them for their sexting habits. But your teenagers still aren’t safe. They might still, after all, be thinking.
A new report by the Foundation for Critical Assumptions uncovers the frightening news: Thinking among teenagers is at an all-time high. “A full 66 percent of teenagers admit to having had a thought within the last week,” says the report’s author, Dr. Evelyn Togar. “More teenagers are thinking today than are having oral sex.”
The report, entitled “Dangerous Mind Games: Teenagers Driven to Think,” lays out just how out-of-control this thinking has become. In 1993, less than two thirds of teenagers were thinking on a regular basis. Compare that to the frightening 66-percent statistic quoted above! The statistics were taken from an exhaustive survey of 23 adolescents and one aging beagle.
Unbelievably, some adults fail to see the problem of teenage thinking. “I always encouraged my students to think,” admits former Joe McCarthy Memorial High School teacher Maggie McGree. But experts in parental paranoia see permissive teachers like the recently-laid off McGree as part of the problem, and point out how popular she was with students—a sure sign of a pushover.
“Some adults remember thinking when they were young, and mistakenly assume that it’s okay for today’s teenagers,” warns Dr. Togar. “But teenagers today are unlike any other generation. When kids think today, they often think about sex.
“Do you know,” she adds, “that 99 percent of teenagers think about sex in the five minutes before they lose their virginity?”
Damned young people drive me nuts. If I’d ever dared to have a thought when I was a lad, my old dad would have opened my head with his sunday steak knife and removed it with a spoon.
Thanks for the post.